A Personal Message

So... this is me. I never planned to show my face on here but I want to write something a little different today and it's more personal so here we are.

I'm a forty seven year old man and I've been very sick for twenty nine of those years. I wrote about this but removed it everywhere except my YouTube, because it felt strange to have so much about myself available to everyone.

This week has been really hard for everyone and I've been hit much harder than I would have expected. I've been trying to figure out why for three days, but I think I've figured it out.

I've spent decades trying to get healthy so I could get back to the world I've essentially left behind, and the more time goes by, the more I'm realizing that the world I left behind when my health took me out, isn't the world that's happening outside my window anymore. Worse yet, this new, darker world is the world my little girl is growing up in.

I've been fighting an illness that I wouldn't wish on the worst of human beings and it's been hard work just to stay alive at times. The idea that there is so much hatred and evil in the world makes me wonder what I'm fighting for sometimes, especially because I know what happens if I stop fighting and let go.

My daughter is answer number 1. I would endure this misery a thousand times over to ensure that she is with me in heaven one day but that's an easy answer.

Honestly, once I rid myself of all the noise, and really break it down, the only reason is to bring as many people with me when I go.

I feel like I'm mourning the entire planet right now but seeing the Christian community coming together online has been a huge help, so for each and every one of you, I thank God.

We need eachother. Arguing over the details needs to take a backseat and it's time for us to really treat eachother like the brothers and sisters in Christ that we are.

Again, thank you all.